Managing children’s anxiety after Covid-19 lockdown can be hard.  After months at home, the easing of restrictions is proving tough for many.  For those with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) or anxiety, the easing of restrictions can seem terrifying.

At Christine Tizzard Psychology and at Lighthouse Psychology (our sister organisation in Ireland), we are seeing a big rise in teenagers and younger children who feel very anxious. A number are refusing to go to school; some have started to self-harm; parents tell us their children’s  meltdowns have increased recently. This is naturally alarming for parents and carers.

What is this post-lockdown fear about?

Humans are sensitive: lots of us find change a bit of a challenge.  For children who have a diagnosis of ASD, ADHD or anxiety,  change is often terrifying and overwhelming.

Being overwhelmed leads kids to feel “hopeless and helpless”, and this causes the body to make more adrenaline.  When adrenaline builds steadily without it being released  children often feel very uncomfortable.  They then find ways or strategies to reduce their fears and sense of helplessness. This is where the current scary behaviours have come from.

Most children have said they did not like home learning – this may be true . Nevertheless, home learning did slowly turn into a new routine.  The takeaway is: you don’t have to like something to experience it as safe and predictable.  

Many people are in a mindset of being ‘comfortably uncomfortable’: the Covid-19 pandemic has been tough, but they are getting through it day by day and adapting to each new situation or set of rules.  Trouble only begins when we become ‘uncomfortably uncomfortable’.  Does this feel familiar?

Why are children so ‘uncomfortably uncomfortable’ at the moment?

Going back to school meant kids needed to grapple with an altered routine.  Add to this, a new routine in a school environment that no longer seemed familiar.  Children felt uncomfortable about various things; the new normal did not feel normal at all.

Lots felt odd wearing a mask, although they understood it was necessary.   Being separated from friends in class bubbles was also weird.  Kids felt alone, yet were also worried about how to relate to friends after months of contacting them only on social  media. Worries about bringing back the virus to their family was another issue frequently reported in therapy.

Roll forward to now and there are new freedoms.  You can go to the shops, get your hair cut, and so on.  For kids with ASD or anxiety, these new freedoms are experienced as more stress on an already overloaded system. Many are unable to process the new changes. These new stressors are on top of their usual challenges and worries.  Their brains are overloaded. Too many stressors at once leads to hyperstimulation, meltdowns and nightmares for parents.

How to help your child with post-lockdown Covid-19 anxiety 

1. Structure changes very gradually – too many changes and changes too quickly causes problems in behaviour. The stress that too many changes causes is often released in meltdowns or other compensatory behaviours.  Compensatory behaviours are actions that make the child feel safe or release tension; these could be symptoms of meltdowns, repetitive behaviours like handwashing or cutting. The problem is that many of these behaviours can be dangerous and only provide relief for a short while.
2. Break down ‘desired’ behaviours into several chunks – you can then focus on ‘a chunk’ at a time. Each chunk needs to be practised several times before you move to the next behaviour.

For instance, if your child will not leave the house because it feels too scary or overwhelming, try the following steps: 

Step 1  Put coat on and head to the front door.

Step 2  Put coat on and walk to the car.                                                    

Step 3  Put coat on, walk to the car, and get in the car.

Step 4  Drive to the shops, park up, return home.

Step 5 Park up, walk to the entrance of the shop, and return home.

Step 6 Briefly enter the shop at a quiet time of the day, buy an item and return to the car.

You can increase the steps or slow them down; the speed depends on your child’s response. The key thing is not to be angry, stressed or disappointed if your child is unable to move through the steps as fast as you would like them to.  The calm, tortoise-like approach always wins the day. 

This slow and steady ‘tortoise’ approach also causes less hyperarousal and adrenaline responses. Lowering stress means  fewer ‘meltdowns’, fewer incidents of ‘magical thinking’ (for example, ‘If I wash my hands 100 times, I will be okay’) and fewer incidents of self-harm.

The secret is to practice each step until it is routine and boring. For each step, allow at least four attempts.

3. Make sure there is plenty of ‘downtime’ where your child can destress and relax – for those with sensory needs. such as ASD, this is the time to make sure you have a range of items to enable this.        

Written by Dr Chrissie Tizzard, Chartered Consultant Psychologist, PsychD, BSc, MSc, C.Psychol, C.Sci, AFBPS. Dr Tizzard is the Clinical Director of Christine Tizzard Psychology (ctpsy.co.uk) and Lighthouse Psychology (lighthousepsychology.ie).